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I spend a tremendous amount of time asking Japanese people, in Japanese, what they think about Japan, love, sex, foreigners, language, and everything else under the sun.

This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English. Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.

Overcoming the racial stereotypes and just being treated as a normal person is a big barrier. Chicks dig a guy with the ability to smuggle ET to safety. I call him Tim-Bob, because the first time we met, I thought his name was Tim, and the second time I thought his name was Robert. Anyway, Tim-Bob was halfway into his fourth drink and onto a familiar lamentation about his Japanese wife. Your wife can’t make more, since she’s a Japanese woman, but Oh, you sure can. Identical in every way – not exactly fountains of energy and interesting conversation, if you know what I mean.

Then, consider what most women want in a partner: someone financially secure, respected in society, and with whom they can build a family. Driving a sweet Mercedes through the middle of Shibuya. Then after we became friends he finally told me, “” Turns out I’d been calling him by the wrong names for about a year. “” So the deal is, if your wife has a job, she’s likely to be stuck in a low-paying position where she works every day until 11 p.m. Plus, now suddenly she’s pregnant again, and you need a car, and junior’s not going to survive on them turnips alone. And when it comes to solving relationship problems, they’re fully equipped with a skill-set that includes such gems as sulking, pouting, and passive aggression.

Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. But in the West, if you’re a handsome, well-spoken guy with a good career, you can date sexy, generative, and highly successful women.

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Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: a group viewed as not really “normal,” with values and behaviors outside of the mainstream, but also thought of as flamboyant and entertaining. I moved here permanently in 2008, at which point I gave up eating cheeseburgers, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, and speaking English. I first came to Japan in 2003, and started studying Japanese shortly thereafter.Vision: Empowerment, dignity, and justice for every victim and global leadership to meet the evolving needs of victims now and in the future.The VSD is directly responsible for several special programs: The FBI and its partners at Penn State University announce a new, no-cost training website for law enforcement agencies and other first responders responsible for notifying the family members of those who have died suddenly as a result of a crime, an accident, a suicide, or other type of incident.

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