Even among male characters who are lionized for their sexual conquests, media portrayals of men who have a strong interest in sex either show them as damaged or otherwise being lesser than the guy who wants strict vanilla monogamy. Barney Stinson is sexist, self-absorbed and downright Hank Moody is a perpetual fuck-up, a barely functioning alcoholic who can’t keep his dick in his pants for longer than five minutes.
Sterling Archer is a great secret agent but an otherwise all-around horrible human being. But treating it as the only correct state for intimacy and sex has the effect of demonizing desire, and leaving many men feeling as though they are somehow for wanting sex, or for wanting to have more than one partner.
The problem with this attitude (and there are many) is that not only does it deny women agency or ownership over their own desires, but it encourages men to treat women with contempt.
After all, if women are “pure” and “innocent” and just “don’t like sex”, then it follows that the women who want to have sex with you are somehow “defective” or just “wrong”.
It creates a double standard where men are taught to desire women, to try to coax them into bed and then to turn right around and punish them for doing so.
Moreover, the idea that women are less sexual than men leads to the commodity mindset of sex and relationships; since women supposedly care less, they’re able to set “the price” for access to their bodies.
Even guys who skill rather than a genuine interest in women’s pleasure and enjoyment.
But also I really just want fan art of sexy men and women in top hats and monocles.
It’s all too easy to buy into the myth that women “don’t like sex as much as men”.
After all, it’s a narrative that we’ve been fed as a society since the 19th century; men are beasts, women are pure, etc.
You have an obligation to your own happiness; meddlers and strangers don’t get a vote.
Just as you have to be willing to own your own sexuality, you have to accept sexuality as well.